We speak of the ‘world being turned upside down’ –
thinking perhaps of the earth’s richest, most
powerful country freely electing as king
a felonious buffoon – but we should think
instead of the world turned back to front
so that, when the earth is spread out
flat as a map, it is not the Greenwich
Meridian at 0 degrees longitude
at its centre but its opposite twin
at 180 degrees, the Date Line.
Then to its left is the West: all of
Australasia, all of Asia,
Africa, Europe, most of Russia,
and a piece of Greenland – and right the East:
all of the Americas, most of Greenland,
and a very small piece of Russia.
So the centre of the world is not
threaded through London but through Fiji.
***
The rockets are soaring again. Like some
nineteenth century Great Game, China,
India and the US of A
are competing in exploration
and exploitation. People are dying
on earth unnecessarily – from
malaria, hunger, pollution, shrapnel,
blast, torture – and the rockets are soaring,
and obsequious hype fills the ether.
***
Meanwhile there are plans to rename parts
of the Moon’s posterior – no more
The Sea of Moscow or The Gagarin
Crater – and the plans for the lunar site
of the Acme University
of The Solar System are well advanced
now that the founders have approved the name.
After much informed and good natured debate
Jeff Bezos, Elon Musk and Mark Zuckerberg
have agreed that that august institution
on the moon’s rear should be named after
a six letter combination of the
first two initials of their surnames
in descending order of personal wealth – thus
the Mubezu Campus.
By David Selzer